Showing posts with label Burnt Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Burnt Thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Giving in and Winning

Ever finish up work and head home, glad that it's the end of the day only to realize that it's actually the end of the first part of your day and the beginning of the second part of your day.

It's usually a mad rush to get to this side of town, pick up G7, then on to B1, most likely the store, possibly gas or whatever, home, let the dog out, homework check, dinner, daddy comes home, dishes, bath time and then finally . . .family time.

Tonight we did the usual but skipped the store. We walked in the house and a feeling of overwhelming chaos hit me. The living room got a good cleaning last night and was vacuumed. Now it seems disheveled and uninviting. We did dishes last night after dinner but the sink was full of pans.
Breakfast was still on the kitchen table.

On any normal night this is the part of the show where I burst in to flames, yelling, pouting and in general being a Mom Monster.  But not tonight. I didn't have the strength. I told the kids to get back in the car and told my husband I would start driving towards him and where ever we ended up was fine with me.

My house cleaning problems are not solved, my sink is not empty. We spent money we vowed last night to do a better job saving. But then again, there was no stress, no yelling, no giving into the fear of inadequacy as a mom and wife and housekeeper. I will save that for tomorrow.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Her Spirit Cannot Be Fenced

For those of you with compliant children: good for you! Please feel free to pop open a Diet Coke and browse your Pottery Barn Kids catalog.

I’m not bitter. Really. There’s a reason God gave me this child. I understand it’s my job as a parent to ask for wisdom and find a way to make this human a functioning, contributing member of society. Pay your taxes, drive the speed limit, give to those in need. These are the things we hope for out in Future World.

Right now our main goals are to brush our teeth BEFORE we come down stairs, keep our hands to ourselves and please do not stand in the middle of the soccer field and eat your boogers. Please- for the love of all that is holy. I beg of you.

I love my girl. Her personality is second to none. I have stories about The Girl that are so delightful that people check in with me on a regular basis for story updates. Is she still scrubbing grout? Has she invented any new holidays lately? Has she tried to sell her brother on eBay yet?

I liken my dah-ling to a bull in a lovely meadow, peacefully munching grass and soaking up the warm sun. But all the while her eyes are on the fence and the bull is pondering. And if we could listen inside this little calf’s head I wonder: what it is we would hear?

“The last time I touched the fence it was electrified and it gave me a big shock. This grass tastes like salad. I bet the grass on the other side tastes like French Fries and Chicken McNuggets . . or possibly even Hibachi. The farmer is busy attending to laundry. I don’t really need to leave my grassy pasture. The farmer will not know if I simply stick my head between the fence for a taste of the frenchy fried grass.

*********BBBZZZZZ***** Yep! Still electrified!”

The good news here is that the bull ultimately recognizes the limits set forth and the possible consequences of the actions. The bad news here is that the bull ultimately recognizes the limits set forth and the possible consequences of the actions and is still willing to go for it.

This year has been an opportunity for growth. We’re having a lot of talks about how to look at an action and think three steps ahead to the consequence and I do believe my girl is trying hard. Bless her heart, she tries hard but sometimes she just can’t resist the temptation of the prize. Sometimes she’s just trying to please other people and sometimes she’s just so excited she wants to share her joy and it simply doesn’t fit the time or place.

I wish I could throw her these pearls of wisdom so that she could avoid the pain of the consequence. But that is not her spirit. And her spirit is too precious to break. Sometimes she’ll just have to learn the hard way how to calculate the risk. But one day she’ll take a risk everyone around her will warn her about. They will tell her how much it will sting and hurt and she will access and decide. Ultimately, I have no doubt, she will choose her time and go for it. One day the payoff will be so incredible sweet and it will be hers and hers alone for the taking.